The turnaround
Daily Life, Relationships, Rants, Raves, The Rookie Wife 8 Comments »:::Weekend:::
First, before anything else, here are pics from the weekend:
Breakfast Saturday morning with pancakes, Toasted bread on the grill, sliced radish, tomatoes and cucumber, sandwich sliced pickles, variety of spreads and meat and fresh juice and tea.
Best part: a breakfast together with husband. Then I threw a tantrum, a really bagatell one, but somehow I have been emotional in the last days. Poor guy didn’t mean anything harm, but I am just super sensitive that at one point I was thinking; am I pregnant or is my period coming (period came). He started hugging me immediately, when he saw my reaction to his whining (which is so him, and which I should be accustomed to by now).
He went out to buy groceries and as I was taking picture of the breakfast recovering from my tantrum, he came home, and from his back came flowers. Wow, it has been a while, and I just love it when it comes so unexpected. He is not an every day romantic (although he is everyday sweet and thoughtful) which makes these moments even more special.
The day before, friday, he picked me up at work. He did some driving and errand and haven’t even slept. I worked late the day before, so I got to go one hour before my time. When we came home at 6 pm, I joined him in sleeping, and we didn’t wake up till the following day.
:::Loneliness:::
Husband having a night shift work is straing to take a toll on me. I am missing him more and more. I realized that with work and my lack of going out, makes me feel lonely at times. I speak to myself in my head a lot all the time. I wish I could get the thoughts out. I am always looking forward to the weekend. Although I spend a lot of time in the computer even at weekends, it’s different that he is within reach and his presence are there.
In my stage of life with the spiritual transition, I would think that speaking with God was sufficient. He is after all the best friend one can have. I fell out of the prayer scheme I started since I want to build up more sincerity and dedication before I approach him. Without spiritual guidance through a sister/brother in faith at this point, I feel that I am still weak at this point. It’s really complicated and I don’t expect everyone to understand as this is just a fraction of it.
:::Schedule changes:::
This time I sincerely hope that this will pull through. “Hindi mauudlot”. I put a lot of minds and thoughts to reworking my lifestyle through time management and balance in life in general.
One of the things I managed to get done is cook dinner every day. This takes away some of my computer time to a greater priority; chores and lookin fater my husband.
This will take some time before everything is implemented and I am still in the planning process. One of the measurements is stepping of or minimizing some commitments in different stuff. More about this later.
I am also changing from web learning and resources to books (more on that later). I am throwing away gossip mags and ladies mag. I will focus on photography, scrapbooking, interior design, recipe books and literature on pregnancy and child planning (yes, I have hinted that before, we are trying to conceive now. I wasn’t supposed to air that out as I wanted it to be a surprise when and if the time came-more also on this later). It was hard resisting the usual gossip mag I used to buy with the juicy hollywood scoop.
I will have a book reading schedule and LO schedule and even a surfing the net schedule (limited to certain sites). It also involves
Shopping and budgeting is also part of the fresh start thingy. I feel that in the way I shop, it seems like it’s more of a disease and obsession. These reflects some sort of greed and materialism that I can’t be a part of, and don’t want to be a part of.
Upon buying, these will be the things I’ll ask myself:
- Can this wait?
- Is there something more important?
- Are there cheaper alternatives?
- How often will I use it?
- Do I really need it?
- Do I have any similar items i haven’t sued yet?
- Will I rather save it for something bigger and more worth it?
and more…
I thinks my shopping craze started already as a small child. I loved the family groceries trip. I love throwing stuff in the cart. And I didn’t even have to pay for it. Some of the items I threw in the cart, just got expired in the cupboards. I think shopping for me is more on the experience and not actually so much on the benefits and use.
My goal is mainly to shrink my to do list and my to buy list, or replace it with more meaningful pointers.
Scrapbook supplies will be one of the most noticeable change. I have had a hard time finding time to organize the volume of scrap supply I have. Big percentage is unused. So why should I keep buying more and more till the others are used. Again, the shopping expeirence, that feeling of having it all, sign of greed. Same with time. I get to greedy on time. I have enough time actually, I should just learn to balance it well,a nd get rid of unnecessary time spent.
I’ll stop here. It’s TIME for sleep 
